I usually get over things by laughing it off. I miss that version of myself. I woke up today with the usual dread and hating my life as it is, missing the blessings that I should appreciate more. I don't know, that nagging feeling of lethargy started to envelope me again. I always feel that I should no longer put an effort to everything because people ended up trumping it. I hate that I always end up suffering. They say we cannot escape pain, but suffering is a choice, but was I actually given a choice not to suffer? I keep on fighting and trying to be strong for myself but life has really its own way to keep on beating me. I already raise the white flag of surrender but it always find way of keeping me down.  I'm just really really tired of resisting, sometimes, I just really want to disappear. Old cures were useless, I feel trapped in the loop and I just want everything to stop. Haaay.