I am dreading from my situation right now. Past few months have been so ungrateful to me that I didn't know what I did to deserve this. Emptiness and sadness will be shy to be with me right now as I am becoming a person with nothing but a hollow heart waiting to be part of the soil where I came from. But, I know that is not how life should be walked upon. The journey is still long enough for me to give up, I must gather all my strength and endurance to take the long walk and not the shorter path. It would be unjustifiable for me to accumulate the talent and somehow wisdom that the great Lord has bestowed upon if I will just cross the forsaken path. Many have been tested, but only few were chosen, this is the test of faith that every man must endure; He walked through it, clenched it, savored it and tasted it with such compassion and hope. I must do the same, for it is only the way for me to bear it.
I believe, this is not the end of misfortunes, many is yet to come, I might collapse and stumble and worst, I may faint, for I am only a frivolous being with such a fickle heart. But hope should not escape me, for it is the tiny light that is helping me crawl with tiny little steps to seize the day that I shall come forward and be back to the light. For the meantime, I shall be prepared. I may be accustomed to the darkness today, but that shall not make me afraid, for as long as I know the feeling of beauty as I have seen it before, darkness will never be forever. As long as I am seeing such tiny light, I must not wave the white flag of defeat, I must know the value of sacrifice He endured, just to save His children out of this misery.
However, I am seeking You right now to let me see the tiny light, it is now a very small spot to me, that I don't even recognize. Give me an assurance that such will not wane, that such will never be out of my sight. Please be at my side and let Your light shine upon me and to my roots that has somehow frustrated me.